Calvin

Rest in piss fucker you won't be missed. In case you missed the news, legendary chronic steroid user and sex tape star has crooked at 71, leaving behind a legacy of shame and embarrassment all stemming from his WWE stardom. To commemorate yet another soul making their way to the flaming pits of hell I wanted to check out the absolute masterpiece that is Hulk Hogan and The Wrestling Boot Band's, Hulk Rules. This album is arguably one of the most patriotic and egotistical releases I have ever heard. It is incredible how much Hulk Hogan was able to slob his own knob all over this project and still make it sound like he wasn't talking about himself enough. Truly a humble king if you ask me. There is absolutely no sense of cohesion or any sort of thoughts or ideas behind this project that aren't trying to relive the glory days of the 80s all the way in 1995. It is an album so out of its' own time that it makes it even more hilarious in the total absurdity of it all. Hulk Rules sucks ass and then some and I hope all of you check it out as a way to piss on this man's grave before he gets put six feet under.

After finishing Bob Marley and The Wailers discography, I didn't know when the next time I'd hear Roots Reggae would be, but thankfully Burning Spear came across my table so I guess it is time to pick back up this very joyous genre once again! This album is once again a very nice to the ears album with a lot of very timeless political lyrical material that still weighs heavy today. It always impresses me how so many Reggae acts are able to fit such dark material into such happy sounding projects, but Burning Spear is yet another to add to the list. I wouldn't say there is any stand out track here as everything is solid. I can definitely see for some people this album being very influential to them or to Reggae music as a whole, but as we stand here in 2026 I think it is just solid and not much more. Nuff said!

What is this? Both Pitchfork and Fantano dropping brand new 0 projects within a few days of one another? The stars must be aligning or something. I am genuinely in awe in how something so terribly mixed and produced could be allowed to be released by anyone. I am not shocked in the slightest this project was released without a label attached because I don't think anyone in their right mind would allow this to be put out under their band's name. It makes it even funnier that Avenge Sevenfold tried to hide it was their project by changing the release name to Statica, but everyone tied it right back to them so quickly. If you have ever seen those "Worst 808" online contests before, if I submitted any of the 4 songs here I think they'd stand a good chance of winning because they sound absolutely terrible here. The autotune on this project is also some of the worst I have ever heard and was genuinely painful to listen to thanks to a lack of balancing audio channels. This album is truly something and not something I ever want to experience or come near ever again.

I never thought I'd be able to see a Pitchfork 0 in my lifetime, and yet here we are with Tyga's brand new album reaching a whole new level of dogshit. Within the first 5 seconds of this project I could tell how utterly awful this album was going to be, truly on some generational levels in a way I didn't think was possible in the great year of 2026. This album somehow continues to keep topping itself with each track as Tyga continues to dig himself a hole deeper and deeper into the pits of hell in terms of song quality and his own very morals. This makes Tory Lanez copying The Weeknd's 80s throwback sound feel like if Soundgarden copied Nirvana (I know they didn't) compared to this. In a career full of low lights and brand new depths into the pits of terrible music, Tyga has really outdone himself here and I am here to watch this dumpster fire go up in blaze and glory. It truly takes some real lack of any sort of music ability to "conceive," record, and release an album like this but I guess Tyga fits the bill perfectly. Thank you for making me endure 30 minutes of slop you fucking loser.

One of the most lifeless, lazy, and strung out mixtapes I've heard in a while. I knew Drake "fell off" after Views but oh my god this was a sharp falloff. There was only a few songs I enjoyed like Passionfruit, Jorja Interlude, Get It Together, 4422, and Do Not Disturb. I really wasn't a fan of how much Drake shilled Giggs and Skepta as their parts were so weird in this album. As for usual Drake picks some of the biggest artists to make some of their laziest and sleep inducing features curtsy of Quavo, 2 Chains, Young Thug, and Travis Scott. The highlight of the feature list and of the album is Jorja Smith, everything I hear from her is like a blessing to my ears and it really sucks how after her songs I was hoping for something nearly half as good in the album.

Olivia Dean seemed to be all the rage during the back half of 2025 and after listening to her sophomore smash hit album, The Art of Loving, I really don't understand why? This album is a perfect example of where Pop Soul is today, with some nice compositions and nice writing that feels very surface level and not much else. The songs here don't even really feel like they compliment one another and instead feel like variations of the same plain sound Olivia is dabbling in. I am surprised why this album has such a big Pop appeal as well because there really wasn't anything that stood out here in my eyes, I wouldn't call this generic but it is certainly around that same vein. I was waiting this whole project for Olivia to really wow me and unfortunately it just never came, this album doesn't feel exciting at all and instead feels more than comfortable being just good at best and that frustrates me quite a bit. I feel The Art of Loving may not be the album for me, and I can honestly live with that, but I want to caution others wanting to check out this out of nowhere star and her album that there isn't anything new or special here. This album is very accessible and simple, and if that is what you want then go ahead, but if you are expecting a Soul record that will help define the modern times then I would feel in good faith to warn you that is nowhere near what this album is. Nuff said.

When people call Turnstile "baby's first Hardcore band" they aren't kidding this shit is light as fuck and barely even Hardcore if you ask me. The emphasis on the autotune over the vocals is a huge turnoff for myself as it really ruins any of the Rock/Punk elements of this release. It feels so polished and that is exactly what both of those genres shouldn't be in this context. Never Enough feels dishonest and like such a dig towards actually fans of Hardcore as it tries the paint the genre as something it isn't and waters down the overall image without ever actually paying respect to the music. This album is dull and uninspired as well as being a blatant waste of anyone's time who genuinely cares about Hardcore as a genre. Turnstile had their time in the Punk spotlight and now they think they are too good for it, just a shame because they actually made some great music when they cared about what they were doing.

The fact that I have now heard 4 Morrissey albums makes me feel great shame, but thankfully now I am done diving through this absolute dick wad's discography once and for all. This isn't the first time Morrissey has tried a more "Pop" adjacent sound, but on You Are the Quarry he dives headfirst into it in what I believe is one of his first attempts at chasing a more mainstream sound. Do I think as a 40s man Morrissey can make it big? Absolutely not, especially not with the flaming pieces of shit he spews out of his mouth. There is not a single song on this album I could pretend to care for. This is easily some of his weakest production mixed with his most hollow lyrics to date. You Are the Quarry is nothing short of phoned in and easy, and personally I couldn't give less of a fuck about that. Sorry Morrissey fans, I simply don't give a damn.

I hate to say it but Morrissey once again popped off from time to time on the next project I am covering, Your Arsenal. All that consistency I was talking about with Viva Hate is fixed, to some degree, on this project as it is a much more dialed in and focused project. With that being said, Morrissey still does have quite a bit of faults here and the tracklist once again is very hit or miss, but with a more focused vision it can be excused a bit more. Still not happy at all to be hearing any of his music, but we must trudge forward in the pursuit of completing this long ass list. Your Arsenal is easily my favorite Morrissey album he has ever made, and yet it is still riddled with misses, so take that how you will.

After breaking up The Smiths in 1987 following their third and finally studio release, Morrissey got busy distancing himself from his bandmates and following down his own solo music career. Viva Hate is the first of many projects from this very annoying fucktard of a person. I hope you all know I wouldn't ever willingly listen to this guy's music, but the 1001 albums to hear before you die generator is twisting my arms for this on. This album tries a little bit of everything because, contrary to what Morrissey wants you to think, he too was pretty lost after the closure of The Smiths. This album tries so many different sounds, styles, and production that it can give some serious whiplash if you aren't careful enough. I have some feelings about Morrissey, but even putting that aside, this album is a mess. There are some decent songs like Everyday Is Like Sunday, Margaret on the Guillotine and Late Night, Maudlin Street, but besides that I struggled a lot to get into this album. It comes off more like The Smiths B-sides from all their eras rather than a cohesive solo vision.

Sour may not be everyone's cup of tea but it somehow created a perfect storm to forever cement this album as a classic in 2020s pop music. Whether you want to believe it or not this album is good, maybe even great, and that is because of Olivia's presence and her song writing. I believe Olivia was only 18 when she wrote Sour and honestly a lot of those subjects an 18 year old would run into are depicted in a very relatable way throughout this album. This album is short but doesn't need 4 to 5 minutes to get each song across the the listener, and I respect that. Sour isn't perfect by any means but it is impressive for just how well rounded it all is and sounds even with Olivia's sophomore album out now. People who hated on this when it came out should really come back and admire the quality of this project in an unbiased lense.

I am happy to announce that when it came to The Band's sophomore album, it clicked a lot better with myself and showed that I can in fact get down with this band. Now what I do want to preface is that I don't see this album being anywhere near an "essential listening experience" and I honestly find it to be good and not much more. It makes the Folk Rock sounds of their debut much more clear and enjoyable to my overall tastes while also never doing anything extremely out there or weird. They are simple and to the point, and that is something I can appreciate. Even with that being said, why in the absolute fuck is this considered to be some "greatest of all time masterpiece" it feels like your average Folk Rock project with nothing super remarkable to make me die over this album for. It is standard in my eyes, and nothing more. No need to loose our marbles over where I'd hope most albums to be. Nuff said.

Sticky Fingers is an album I hoped would absolutely blow me away and show me what The Stones are all about, but honestly it felt like a nice slow burn rather than an explosive and eye-catching project I thought it would be. I personally don't mind a slow burn album especially when it has stellar writing all across the board like with Moonlight Mile, Sway, and of course Wild Horses. This album is a lot calmer and more cool than I had initially expected but I soon came to enjoy that style as it was very easy coming and accessible rather than being full of "pump me up" tracks that feel suited for specific moments. I guess I never realized just how Blues The Rolling Stones were because all I was familiar with was their greatest hits and a lot of the more heavy and Hard Rock tracks like Start Me Up and even Rocks Off. I found Mick Jagger to be very emotional across this entire project and really move myself with his words and just how he expressed each note to perfectly fit the vibe of what this whole project was going for. I feel I should also mention the iconic album cover which is yet another favorite of mine thanks in part to Andy Warhol's very talented and forward thinking visions. I feel like even with the cover Sticky Fingers looks like it would sound like a much more hard and simplistic project, but beneath the zipper and deep into the grooves of this project shows something much more vulnerable and far more noteworthy than any run of the mile Rock sound could ever accomplish. Sticky Fingers has already grown on me significantly in the time since I first listened and I expect it to continue to age like fine wine in my personal tastes as I slowly become more infatuated with what The Rolling Stones have to offer as a band. Nuff said!

The Strokes are arguably the reason in the 2000s and even now there has been such a huge garage rock revival, thus making them one of the most influential bands of all time. With that being said I decided to go back to their roots and revisit Is This It to see if my opinions on this album have changed or not. Now I want to say one of my pet peeves is the microphone effect used by The Strokes here and I usually don't enjoy it, but since they popularized this audio effect I give them a pass on it. This album is still a blast nearly 20 years later and I have to say the energy everyone brings to the table here truly is indestructible. I don't get how anyone could hate this album, it's so well put together and such a great example of why garage rock/post-punk is such a great genre as a whole, it truly can be made into something spectacular. I really didn't realize just how fun this album is and I don't think I've heard an album I've smiled to this much in such a long time. I am happy The Strokes have stopped trying to top this album and pave their own new road now but it sure took them a while to get that memo they simply wouldn't beat this one.

I am surprised out of all the Folk and Folk-adjacent artists I have heard, I never really dug into Van Morrison despite being familiar with him for easily 3 or 4 years now. As I always say, better late than never to get into this music and I guess now is the time for me to finally hear Astral Weeks. This album doesn't even compare to Moondance for myself but is a good showcase of Van Morrison doing more long and drawn out pieces rather than the short yet impactful songwriting of Moondance. Each of these tracks feel like their own short stories as they are filled with some beautiful acoustics and that signature Van Morrison vocals. This album can definitely feel like a bit of a drag because of how long the average song is here, but I think it is worth the full admission of the 46 minute runtime. It makes for an experience you don't often see in Folk music as a whole, yet somehow really works. While Astral Weeks didn't blow me away by any means, it is a pretty impactful album in the general umbrella that is Folk as a whole as it shows the music can be more than short spurts and can withstand long and meaningful runtimes.

After finally finding their footing on 1984's The Unforgotten Fire, U2 took 3 years to themselves to cook up their next project, and they definitely cooked up yet another banger release with The Joshua Tree. I would argue that the band started moving in a more Contemporary direction with their music as it feels like a much more mature and simple sound compared to the more dreamy and lush direction of The Unforgotten Fire. I don't mind the shift in genres as it does help ground the music a little more, but it also does make it lose its' sauce just a little bit for myself. I think this project is a very safe release for U2 as you can tell they are trying to clock into more of a Pop appeal here, and honestly I like them more when they are stylized and specific rather than appealing to the masses. For the most part I did very much enjoy this album, but those last two tracks, Exit and Mothers of the Disappeared, really left me with a bitter taste in my mouth that I am having quite a bit of trouble flushing out. They are such departures from everything else that was happening on The Joshua Tree that when they come on it feels like an entirely different album for what I could only figure to be no good reason. The Joshua Tree is solid but honestly kind of forgettable if I am being honest, and this is supposed to be one of U2's better projects?

I really do not understand how Bruce Springsteen did not become a household name from this album because it is once again another stunning album in a discography full of very thoughtful and compelling writing and some kickass Rock and Roll. I think Born to Run makes for quite an argument for being one of the greatest songs of all time as it is one of those generational songs that no one else could have ever done better than the Boss himself. As much as I'd like to compliment Born to Run I will start with some of the very short and nitpicky negatives. This album doesn't really have a consistent tone, vibe, or even style to it and bounces around quite a bit more than you'd think for a 39 minute album. The trumpet part in Meeting Across the River really took me by surprise and once again added to the many different styles Bruce was trying to accomplish here. I really like how Bruce is able to bring everything together even with how varied it is, this album shows a lot of promise that had been boiling up for the past 2 albums and finally came to the surface here. This album is the first glimpse of stardom for the young Bruce and I wouldn't put it against anything for hopping on the hype train at this point because it is obvious there is a lot of talent to be unpacked here.

Y'know what, I completely understand why Oasis are as renowned as they are. I finally got around to hearing this certified Birmingham classic and man does this album rule in every way. Despite the 50 minute runtime this album keeps on rolling out banger after banger after banger without ever batting an eye. From Hello to Champagne Supernova, Oasis charms with some very simple, loud, and extremely memorable songs that continue to define the time period and any person who decides to take this album in with open arms. This album isn't nearly as dense or as layered as Definitely Maybe, but the simplicity allows the killer songwriting to really flourish into its' own in a way it wasn't really able to thanks to the very lush production on their debut. I feel like it doesn't really need to be stated how good this album is because it has stood the test of time beautifully, even with how much Wonderwall has been overplayed to death. Nuff said.

Since I have already covered Let It Be, this is my final studio album from The Beatles I will covering from The Beatles and while I do wish the band ended on this note, it is still a stellar project that feels like it wraps up everything The Beatles had been doing for the past 6 years up so beautifully. What is there really to say here that hasn't been said about this project, each track feels like a staple of its' time and of the band's discography for the entirety of the 47 minute runtime. Despite there being a good chunk of songs with a track time less than 3 minutes, each and every track here feels so complete and fleshed out with such rich detail. Millions of people have praised this album countless amounts of times because it is simply that good. Abbey Road is timeless and easily a classic all should hear at some point in your lifetime as it is nothing short of an impressive musical feat done by one of the best to ever do it. There really isn't anything I can add here other than do yourself a favor and give this album a spin even if you have heard it a million times or never a single time because it is simply that worth it. Nuff said.